I was not feeling it this time, blogging again I mean. I love, love, LOVE the idea of Sentraal Station being revived. Being able to blog hop through the station and read the blogs I love and discovering new ones filled me with such excitement. However, the prospect of me writing again? Oh well... we'll see.
I opened up my old blog a few weeks back and could hardly recognise Anedra. Did I really write all those self absorbed posts (sorry Ayu, using your term here!)? There was I suppose, a much younger, chirpier and what seemed to be very open Anedra who was sharing so much out there. I was both amused and shocked, haha, at the same time. Was that really me???
That said, there were some great times to be said of those days when we hammered away on our keyboards sharing it all. I wrote of my first meet with Ood (I keep having to remind myself to write blog names and not facebook names!)and how fun that was (I dont see you enough Oody!), there were many mornings of long chats with bloggerfriends on diet fads (South Beach Diet, Elly!), food glorious food, about family, husbands etc etc. I remember the dilemma I once shared with Blabarella on donning the hijab and how we would approach the issue should the time present itself to us. Now that that's done and dusted, it feels like that was the easy part. The journey in finding His light and being steadfast is another story altogether. The fun we had at Adiejin's and how we were charmed by Bergen. Sigh.. (happy sigh ok!)
Of course there were numerous posts on the children and my Hang Tuah. I must have left Anedra 8 years ago with Nasar at 7 years old. He is now a responsible, fun loving teen who is still my rock and my best buddy at home. He doesn't have a choice, the poor kid, I am a clingy mom! We were then figuring out how to cope with Nasri's autism, and still are! Haha. He has thrived and bloomed no doubt and is very different from the boy he was 8 years back but as it is with autism, nothing is really predictable. There is always something new we need to work on. These days though, we find it easier to tackle things without over thinking it and most often laugh about it as well. Nasri sometimes laughs about it too, which is so endearing. The princess, oh my. What's not to love about having a girl in the house r ight/ Nasya is a very free spirited, creative, animal loving girl. She is all of 6 years old now (7 soon she says!) and I am convinced she should have been born a Singaporean. Super kiasu. The only 6 year old I know who wakes up at 2.30am to do revision. As I write, it is 5.30 am and she is revising her Bahasa Malaysia. I actually had to pull her aside one day and basically tell her to chill!
Hang Tuah...well, is still the same old Hang Tuah. Maybe with more wrinkles. Balder than ever, if that's possible. Taking in life with new perspective as he embraces his FIFTIES! More relaxed, doing what he loves most, reading, travelling and putting in more time for family and friends.
As for me, so much has changed. Maybe age has a lot to do with it. I am a full time mom now who consistently thinks of returning to the corporate world for the sake of her sanity but knows deep inside she could never go back. I have this constant fear that I am damaging my kids more by being at home than at work. The fact that they are still alive is however comforting. A yogi who is still figuring out her headstand and someone who is still the greatest of procrastinators. Being at home is fun and frustrating at the same time. At work, objectives and outcomes are so well defined. The kids though? The greatest mystery in the universe! All that said, I am blessed and I am happy and still fat. Fatter, in fact!
So to publish or not to publish? What the heck lah kan. I'll just hit the button and see where this goes.
By the way, Hello Sentraal Station. It's lovely to see you again!